Sometimes I get the blues. Recently, I seem to get “struck” with them and spiral down before I recognize what’s the what.
I have been practicing NOWNESS though recently. Mindfulness, being in the present, whatever you might would call it. What does it look like? It looks like dropping whatever story is swirling around in my head that is bumming me out (which usually is connected by painful tendrils to judgements about me and all that is me – PLUS past or future events), so dropping all of that and looking at what is real and true NOW.
This morning, what is now is
Its cool out
its quiet now
I have crazy love for my fella, our beasts, our life, my life
I am HEALTHY in this moment. Not compared to before, not compared to future me – but NOW.. I am healthy.
I am PAIN FREE in this moment.
I have work to do (hooray for work, says the production worker).
I am not hungry.
I am not tired.
I am not crying
I am still cool and amused from me and the girls getting blessed by a rain storm on our boogiedown hikejam this morning, getting drenched and dancesinghiking the rest of the way.
I am loveable, loving, and loved.
In this moment its all good. Its ALL good. I could talk about excitement about vacation coming, but that is a future me and not the right now me. Learning that the right now me is FINE.. whatever shit I have been spinning about a past or future me would dictated.
Right now me? Awesomesauce, sweet, beautiful and just like its supposed to be. Like a ripe, sweet, warm from the tree fig. :}